Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
