Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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