I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
