I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
