he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
