yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
