some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
