Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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