Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
