I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
