The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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