I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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