shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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