I'm jealous of your bromance
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
