Porn is love you can see.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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