I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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