Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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