Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
In America we eat man semen.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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