Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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