Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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