My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
