3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
