its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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