two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So much Jack, so little girl.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
