The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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