If that was your dad, he is hot
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
ttyl tear gas
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
