What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
