She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
