a search helicopter?!
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
