Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
