so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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