My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Alive.
So much puke
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I can't turn off my feet"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
