I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
