u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
