Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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