I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
