oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
When did angry sex become our thing?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
