Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
