i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
