FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
