You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
