she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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