i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
