I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
