I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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