flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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