so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
