This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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