Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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