only you would photoshop your dick
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
