When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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