everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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