This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize