Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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