Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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