Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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