We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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