So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
