Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
