Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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