your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
